Never Love a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 3) Read online

  NEVER LOVE A ROCKSTAR

  (The NEVER TRUST Series, Book 3)

  SARAH DARLINGTON

  NEVER LOVE A ROCKSTAR

  Copyright © 2020 Sarah Darlington

  Cover Design by Alora Kate

  Editing by Kamaryn Kretz

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, and events portrayed in this book are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced throughout this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  ~ CHAPTER 1 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 2 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 3 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 4 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 5 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 6 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 7 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 8 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 9 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 10 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 11 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 12 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 13 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 14 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 15 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 16 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 17 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 18 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 19 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 20 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 21 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 22 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 23 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 24 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 25 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 26 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 27 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 28 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 29 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 30 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 31 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 32 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 33 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 34 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 35 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 36 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 37 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 38 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 39 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 40 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 41 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 42 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 43 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 44 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 45 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 46 ~

  ~ EPILOGUE ~

  PREORDER: NEVER LEAVE A ROCKSTAR

  ~ CHAPTER 1 ~

  ~ CHAPTER 2 ~

  ALSO BY SARAH DARLINGTON

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  NEVER LOVE A ROCKSTAR Playlist

  I’m an autism mom.

  To all the other autism mom’s out there.

  ~ CHAPTER 1 ~

  LUKE

  A big gust of wind blew at my face as I rapped my knuckles against Caleb’s front door.

  My lungs burned. My stomach—it felt like I’d swallowed battery acid. I tried to breathe evenly but couldn’t manage it. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to see Rebecca ever again. At least not in this lifetime. But Caleb deserved the truth.

  The door opened.

  My brother stood on the other side. Shit, he looked awful. He’d let his facial hair grow out crazy. His beard needed shaping and trimming. He had bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days. And I swear, the last time I saw him, he’d been wearing those same sweatpants.

  “Oh good, big brother, you finally came.” His eyes shined with relief.

  But I wasn’t here because he’d called. I wasn’t here with good news. I came with the worst kind.

  “Let’s make some music,” Caleb said. “I’ve written four new songs and I need you to help me decide which one is best.”

  I stepped inside. I wasn’t here to work on music. I glanced around his foyer. “Where’s Rebecca? Where’s the kid? What’s his name? Caleb Junior?”

  “I know. I can’t believe she named him that, either. Rebecca went to the store. And Caleb’s in the sound-proof room. Which is why we need to get back down there. I’ve been teaching him drums. C’mon.”

  Thank God, Rebecca wasn’t here. I couldn’t believe she’d named her son Caleb Junior. What an awful name. Especially since there was a chance he wasn’t Caleb’s kid. I knew that. She knew that. The only person who didn’t know that was my brother.

  I followed him to the basement. I had to see the kid. I had to meet him.

  It wasn’t a normal basement. It was massive, and sound-proofed, and fully equipped for the entire band. We recorded our third album in this basement. The boy sat by the drums, banging away. If my cousin Dani saw him on her instrument, she would have wanted to murder someone. Good thing she wasn’t around.

  “Good job, Caleb,” my brother told the boy, giving him a thumbs up.

  “Hi, Senior,” the boy said, banging his two sticks against the kick drum.

  “He’s been calling me ‘Senior’ lately,” Caleb smiled. “I don’t mind it. I like it. So.” He picked up his guitar, adjusting the strap over one shoulder, letting his fingers fall into place. “Let’s play.”

  I ignored him. Instead I went to sit next to the boy. I brushed little Caleb’s wild brown hair from his face, staring down at him, taking him in. He looked like me.

  He fucking looked exactly like me.

  Tears burned behind my eyes. My brother Caleb and I—we looked a lot alike. Really, the kid could have been either of ours. But something in my heart told me he was mine.

  Caleb started a chord on his guitar, ready to play music.

  “I slept with Rebecca.”

  The words broke free from my lips, like I’d been holding them hostage. Almost four years of not being able to say them, and with one look at the kid they spilled out.

  Caleb’s fingers froze on his guitar, making an awful sound. Caleb Junior kept banging his little heart out on the drums

  “Caleb—Caleb! Stop for a second,” he called out to the boy.

  Little Caleb just kept drumming… and giggling now.

  I stood up. “I slept with Rebecca,” I repeated, louder now. “It happened once. Well, several times in one night. We weren’t careful. I didn’t use a condom.”

  Caleb laughed. He thought I was joking.

  This wasn’t a joke. “I think there’s a chance little Caleb could be mine. We need to do a paternity test.”

  “Holy shit!”

  I watched his face change as my words sank in. The gravity of my betrayal and the secret I’d been holding onto for so long hit him.

  “There’s a lab not far from here.” My hands began to tremble, so I shoved them into my jean pockets. I was already depressed as fuck. If I lost Caleb over this, I don’t know what I’d do. “I called them yesterday and set up an appointment for today. They can do same day testing. They use saliva samples. I figured that would be the least invasive option for little Caleb.”

  “This is quite a lot to process.” He stared at me. “Do you really think Rebecca would have named him ‘Caleb’ if she doubted who his father was?”

  “Yes. Actually, it sounds like something she would have done.”

  She loved Caleb—Caleb Senior. I’d fucked up everything the night I gave in and kissed her. It still surprised me at how quickly that kiss led to everything else we did. We’d both made a mistake. Only, her mistake cost so much more.

  Caleb exhaled, locking his fingers behind his head, letting the guitar dangle around his neck from its strap. “Fine. Let’s go. I will punch you in the face over this later, after we find out who the boy’s father actually is.”

/>   Caleb wasn’t violent. He was the kindest of my brothers. A hell of a lot nicer than me. I wished there was a way I could take all of this back. I hated hearing those words come out of his mouth. I hated seeing him in pain. I knew he loved the new girl he’d been seeing—Emma. And all of this mess with Rebecca was screwing up his new relationship with her.

  “I don’t want to see Rebecca,” I told him. “So I should go before she returns from the store. Let’s meet at the lab—in about an hour?”

  “Fine.”

  “Okay.”

  There was an awkwardness between us that I’d never felt in my life.

  “I’ll text you the address of the clinic.”

  ~ CHAPTER 2 ~

  REBECCA

  “Mom, please, come home,” I said into the phone. This was the third time this week I’d begged her. I knew her answer wouldn’t change, but I had to try one more time. For my own sanity, I had to try.

  “Honey, you can do this. Make that boy fall in love with you again.”

  “He’s not a boy anymore. Caleb Mills is different now. I’m different now. I don’t feel it with him anymore. He certainly doesn’t feel it with me.”

  “You need help with Caleb Junior. I can’t be that person anymore. I have a life. I have a man. I need to put him first.”

  My heart sank. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom. And mine was refusing to be there for me. Granted, she’d been the person by my side for the past four years. But she left. She fucking left me to do this on my own.

  “I have to go,” I said in anger, and hit the button to end our call. “Fuck,” I tossed the phone across the car. I hadn’t been paying attention to the road, and as I glanced back up, I nearly ran straight into an approaching vehicle.

  Someone else was driving down Caleb Mill’s long-ass narrow driveway. I swerved to make room, straight into the grass ditch on the side of the road.

  The truck that had passed me stopped—I watched in my rear-view mirror. No one left the car. I was okay. I hadn’t been going fast. I reversed, turning the wheels, figuring my way out of the ditch. Someone a long time ago had taught me how to do this. When you grow up on dirt backroads—you’ve got to learn how to get unstuck. So I put that knowledge to good use.

  I rolled down the window, waving at the person behind the truck’s tinted windows, shouting an apology in their direction before I continued on my way.

  Back at his house, I unloaded the groceries before I went off searching for Caleb and little Caleb. The house was enormous. I’d been with him in the beginning of his career, just as the band was gaining popularity. Back then there were no mansions or fancy cars. No endless driveways or maid services. For a time, it was just the four members of his band, plus me, living out of a van together. Sometimes I still missed those days.

  These days Caleb Mills was a household name. I watched Sunset Revival perform with Rihanna at the Grammy’s last year. As I sat on the couch that night, in my mom’s crappy apartment, I told myself I’d never give in and call him. That I could manage on my own, as a single mother. But things hadn’t gotten better since I made that promise to myself. I needed help. It wasn’t his money I wanted. I needed my son’s father. No matter how painful it was to go back to him, here I was.

  I found the two Calebs in the basement, playing drums. Little Caleb had really taken a liking to the other Caleb. And he pretty much hated everyone aside from my mom and me.

  “Hey,” I said.

  The second he saw me, Caleb Mills stood, giving me the world’s most evil glare, and brushed passed me.

  “How’d it go?” I demanded. This was only his second time watching little Caleb on his own with me out of the house.

  “Fine.”

  “What’s your problem?”

  “Not you, hopefully.”

  What the hell did that mean? “Where are you going?”

  “To shower,” he yelled as he started up the stairs.

  Little Caleb immediately began to cry. If anyone ever raised their voice, my boy would cry. He was so sensitive. I went to give him a hug and calm him.

  What crawled up Caleb Mills’ ass?

  And then I realized, I recognized that truck from the driveway—the one that had almost hit me. It belonged to Luke. Luke Mills was just here at the house. With my son. With his brother.

  Oh God.

  I felt sick to my stomach.

  What if Luke had just told him everything?

  ~ CHAPTER 3 ~

  LUKE

  “Luke Mills is the father,” the nurse revealed, discreetly reading the results off the file she clutched in her hands.

  For a long moment this information hung in the air, and nobody said a word. The nurse handed me the file, giving me a polite, awkward smile, before leaving us.

  Oh fuck. I stared blankly down at the words on the paper, not reading anything, as the gravity of this information sunk in. Caleb Junior really was mine. My intuition had been correct. My one night with Rebecca had resulted in a son.

  “Thank you, Luke,” my brother said. Rather than the punch he’d promised me earlier, he gave me a shoulder squeeze. “Thank you for fucking her.” He began laughing, as if he found the ridiculousness of those words to be comical. The sound echoed through the doctor’s office waiting room, drawing attention our way. He didn’t stop until tears formed in his eyes. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry.” I meant it with all my heart. “I’m so sorry.” I betrayed his trust, and I’d never forgive myself for that. I know he’d bonded with the boy. And now I’d taken that from him, too.

  “No. For the rest of my life, I will always look back on this moment and love you for this. Thank you, brother.” He breathed in deeply and then exhaled, as if this news was the best result he could have gotten. “Yes!” he shouted, raising his arms above his head.

  A few other patients in the waiting room turned around in their chairs to look in our direction, giving us confused stares.

  Little Caleb, whom we’d had to bring along to do the test, stopped playing with his electronic toy. He ran up to my brother, who was the only person so far I’d seen him tolerate, and he climbed into his lap.

  Caleb gave little Caleb a hug. “Well.” He smiled from ear to ear. “Let’s go tell Rebecca the happy news. Turns out I’m an uncle.”

  “Sure.” I swallowed.

  I’d purposely avoided contact with Rebecca so far. I guess there was no avoiding her now. Or ever again in my life.

  A knot settled in my stomach as we left the lab, walking outside for the parking lot. I followed Caleb to his car, watching as he buckled the boy into his car seat. I guess these were things I’d soon be responsible for.

  “I’m just going to stop at my house and get an overnight bag,” I muttered. “Little Caleb doesn’t seem to like me. Maybe I could stay at your house a few nights until he starts to warm up to me.”

  “Stay however long you’d like. But you can bet your ass I won’t be there tonight. I’m staying at a hotel. Then I’m going back to Kill Devil Hills and to Emma. I have absolutely no reason to stay in Tennessee anymore.”

  Shit. All of this was happening too fast.

  Without another word, I left. I went home where I started throwing clothes into a duffle bag. My heart thudded. I’d ran Rebecca into a ditch earlier—in my haste to get away from Caleb’s house, speeding down his narrow driveway, before she came home. I’d been too chicken shit to leave my car and check on her.

  She was okay.

  She’d reversed exactly as I taught her one snowy night so many years ago. That moment had fucked me.

  Now this moment was fucking with me, too.

  Because I didn’t know exactly what I felt. Anger? Anxiety? Rage? Some spark of hope? It was the hope mixed in there that bothered me. It didn’t matter that we shared a kid. She’d always be the woman I hated more than anything in life.

  I took the drive from my house to Caleb’s house. Only ten minutes. We’d purposely bought homes close together, so that r
ecording in his basement studio would be easier.

  I parked outside in the loop driveway. I didn’t knock. I only used the key I’d always had. I dropped my bag and paced through Caleb’s house searching for Rebecca.

  She and little Caleb were in the kitchen, sitting on the high stools at the kitchen table. The first thought through my head was how impractical a tall table was for a child.

  The next thought—how goddamned beautiful Rebecca still looked. Her hair was the richest, deepest dark brown color. I knew from experience that it felt like silk. It stretched down her back. She had blue eyes like sapphires. And a smile that could make you betray your own brother. She’d gained a little bit of weight—but hell if it didn’t look good on her hips. I hated myself for still finding her just as attractive as I always had.

  “Hi,” I said coolly.

  “Hi,” she returned.

  No smile for me today.

  Good. We were both on the same page.

  I sat at the table. She must have been expecting me because there was an extra plate. She’d made pancakes. I hadn’t eaten all day, so I tried them. They were cold and bland. At least little Caleb seemed to be enjoying them. He had syrup all over his face, hands, and hair.

  I let myself study him as I ate—a little harder now that I knew he was mine. He had my color of brown hair, closer to chestnut, and my hazel eyes. He had Rebecca’s beautiful smile. He was a handsome kid. The Mills gene was a strong gene. My parents were going to love him. I wondered if they’d met him yet, if Caleb had told them. Maybe he’d even brought them to Thanksgiving at my parent’s house last week. I assumed that was what he had done. I’d been in North Carolina.

  When I finished my plate, I took it to the sink, rinsing it and loading it into the dishwasher.

  Then that was it.

  That was as much as I could tolerate of Rebecca for one evening. I set off to find a place I could sleep in Caleb’s enormous house, deciding the room farthest from Rebecca’s room would be the best room.